Thursday, April 5, 2012

Cut Out the Middle Man

Having kids changes everything. EVERYTHING. For better and for worse.

One example: before we had kids, when we went to church, it usually went like this:
Ahhh. A day of rest!

Now it feels a little more like this:
And we only have two kids!!!

Church used to be about worship. Now it's all about SURVIVAL.
We're hoping God gives bonus points if you and your family simply live through sacrament meeting.

With this in mind, as we prepare for church we only have two goals now:

1. Make sure your kids don't disturb the other members of the congregation so much that they get up and leave in a huff and never come back.
This means bring snacks. LOTS of snacks.

2. Make sure you don't leave a complete mess behind.
NEVER forget the diapers and wipes.

Oh, also, if you can:

3. Try to learn something from the talk.
If nothing else, your scriptures will come in handy as a shield.

One recent Sunday, in our efforts to accomplish #1 and 2 above, we decided to give our son a snack during Sunday School.

The chair next to us was open, so we set a pile of Cheerios™ on the seat and let him at it.

Now, mind you, our son has shown a pretty impressive repertoire of motor skills and hand-eye coordination, so we figured he'd be perfectly capable of grasping a few pieces of said toasted oat cereal and delivering them successfully to his pie hole.

But he's a critical thinker, so he decided to skip an altogether unnecessary step:

So much for goal #2.